We often receive demands for Premium paid support that would include solving the unusual requests. And we are glad to announce that since today we are offering 4 new corporate service plans:

“All-Hope-Is-Gone Report”
Psychological counselling in case of “Nothing is working!”, “Oh no! Crash!” or “It's all up!”

“Night-Of-Strange-Cravings Report”
Customer can request for any kind of strange feature (e.g. a video in your report) and we'll get it done over the night.

“Careless-ToR Report”
We will do the terms of reference for you. What the heck, we'll even write the actual program for you, with all the features and reports!

“Gremlin Report”
Via FedEx we ship you a personal Gremlin, who will scare off the fails. You won't have to feed him and he also can live in a box he came in.